Jealousy

Dr. Tom: Jealousy, the great taboo emotion of our times. See, Freud was all about uncovering feelings that people had but that they couldn't talk about. So of course in his day it was sex, but these days it's envy that we have renounced. No one talks about it, and no one admits it, even to themselves.

Being Erica, Episode 1.10

Parents

* "Your parents will mess you up. They don't mean to, but they do it anyway." Philip Larkin

* "Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them." Oscar Wilde

KELLOGS

My first post on KELLOGS, which is the official blog of King Edward English Literary Society, of which i am also the President: Dreary Non-existence

Good Reason

Aati: What's a good reason for falling out of love?

Me: When the thought of actually spending the rest of your life with that person doesn't make you happy anymore.

Aati: In my case, you know you don't love someone when the thought of next moments with them doesn't seem worth it, when the more you push yourself to change that, the worse you fare because, as you'll eventually realize, your feelings died at some point between then and now.

Fair

X: I caused all that, made so many people suffer; it doesn't sound right that i should be allowed a chance to move on while others can't. The only way it seems fair is if i suffer. The only way it seems fair is if i am in pain. I need to live in anguish, so that it may dilute the guilt, or i will die.

The Perfect Marriage

Aati: My perfect mate would get married as an afterthought :> Didn't I tell you? Cue bored, lazy day. "Want to get married?" "Sure." We collect a few friends and family, head to the marriage registration place, get a license, head to a Chinese restaurant and have a little fun dinner with our loved ones. Done. End of all ceremonies. Life moves on.

Litmus Test

Over the years i have had philosophical discussions with all sort of people and it baffles me that a philosophical argument appeals to one person but not to another. There is, however, one thing that i have noticed; a Litmus test, of sorts. The ability to philosophize depends on how much a person is troubled by the inconsistencies in his life. An average, normal person has a very well-developed ability to tolerate or simply ignore glaring contradictions in life: between different beliefs he has, between the beliefs and actions, between different actions. A normal person is not troubled by these discrepancies, but a philosopher is. That seems to me to be one of the basic differences.

Shame and Lust

I just watched a short film made by Ahmer Naqvi posted on his blog, and it portrays certain disturbing aspects of sexual shame and lust of a Pakistani male. It's a thought-provoking video, and it's pretty well-explained. Those interested, please have a look.

Cryptic Thoughts: Dying Words

What did the atheist say as he was burnt alive at the stake? "Forgive them, Lord. They do not know what they do."

Truce

Truce
M. Awais Aftab

I made peace with the shadows
And ceased war with the lights
So now i stand
The brown child
Of an inter-racial marriage

This

This too shall pass, even though it never ends.

Resignation

Since some days i have been pondering over the popular idea of 'resignation': 'resign to fate', 'let go, it's what God wanted'. The mass appeal of this philosophy is obvious to me; in a society where individual will is crushed at every juncture of life, it is not surprising that people would believe that their lives are not in their hands. But even adjusting for this social factor, it remains that there are things about a person's life which are beyond his control, dictated apparently by luck or random chance. Like having a day when nothing goes the way you planned it; or when you make your best efforts to do something, but are unable to do so. At such moments, it is comforting to believe 'Maybe it wasn't meant to be'.

What interests me here is that we don't know what Fate is, or what God wants us to do, assuming, of course, that they exist. How do we know that God wants us to give up and doesn't want us to keep fighting for what we want to achieve? The only honest answer is: we don't know. We employ the idea of resignation to justify our giving up on something, to pretend that we are not responsible for our lives, to absolve ourselves from the anguish of knowing that we have a choice. The point at which a person says "It's not meant to be" is the point at which that particular person runs out of energy and courage to fight more. Hence, a person may give up just at the thought of anticipated problems of an action, while another may try for years before giving up, and yet both may employ the justification "It wasn't meant to be". Seen in this way, Resignation is a clear-cut instance of existential bad-faith (mauvaise foi).

I don't mean to say that giving up at any stage is necessarily a wrong decision. It may be the best thing to do in that particular situation. What i am saying is that to justify it by attributing it to God's will is nothing but dil ki tassali, a self-deception employed to make you feel good. And that believing in Resignation may actually prevent one from trying one's best and make someone give up earlier than he would have otherwise.

On another note: without these self-deceptions in life, one is left with little more than an 'unhappy consciousness'.

Self-help

How to win friends, influence people and have totally fake relationships.

Ambition Burn-Out

Thetis [to Achilles]: If you stay in Larissa, you will find peace. You will find a wonderful woman, and you will have sons and daughters, who will have children. And they'll all love you and remember your name. But when your children are dead, and their children after them, your name will be lost. If you go to Troy, glory will be yours. They will write stories about your victories for thousands of years and the world will honor your name. But if you go to Troy, you will never come back, for your glory walks hand-in-hand with your doom.

Troy

My post-adolescent life has been a drift from being someone who would choose to go to Troy to being a person who would choose to stay in Larissa, if i were Achilles.

Random Nuggets

I regret going into medicine, and i regret going to KE. I feel that my life has been wasted.

A friend says that she likes being alone because when she is with people she is always afraid that they would see through her mask.

People around me are so homophobic; its just sad. Homosexual humor is acceptable to them; indeed, half of their jokes contain direct or indirect gay references: the only way they can make sense of homosexuality is to see it as a perversion.

The social morality i perceive is the morality of sexual frustration.

I sometimes think that if i were abducted and slaughtered by some religious fanatic, many of the people I know wouldn't hesitate to say, "He deserved it."

'Before you came to Sparta, I was a ghost...'

'Resign to God's will' says the society to the people on whom it imposes its authority.