Love and Abuse

My article in Us magazine.


"Disaster happens when people adopt sexual liberation without imbibing the feminist egalitarian mindset to go with it." This was a key line in the article which I had added later after initial submission, but was apparently forgotten during editorial processing.

Comments

F. said…
Forgotten? Yes, I'd rather believe that.
Anonymous said…
Love at its best is beautiful and inspiring. Almost divine.

Yes. But when one actually confronts a love that is as inspiring as to be called 'divine', I can bet my life there will be not be any in this world to accept it. Such a love is no flowery poetry written of attractions of 'flesh and blood' or echoes of familiar sentiments of 'promising moon' to one's lover. It would be about a wholehearted endeavor to awaken the lover's soul and finds its fulfillment in such a union. Such a love and the lover burn you from 'within and without' with love's fire and the result is a white flaming purity in the bond. It is unfamiliar. It is harsh. It is difficult. It is demanding. But such a lover is the superb promise of the divine himself to be with you in the human form. That is the beauty and reward of this assurance in such a bond. And that is why the love is called 'divine'!
Alec Lindsay said…
You carry with you the baggage of your society. 'Love' reflects society and individuals. It may be for you the things you describe. I doubt that love is the thing discussed by the men you listened to in such disgust. Their conversation sounds like the sort of talk that young men are sometimes led into by their libido and their competitiveness. It was probably meaningless as an indication of what they believe. It may indicate the actions they have imagined but I would lay good odds that when they reflected in solitude or in maturity few if any of them actually believe that what they talked about would or should happen. Nor, I imagine, would they think it the exemplar of love.
I realise such gatherings and such talk can lead to worse action, but overwhelmingly they don't. Stupid it may be, disrespectful, and foul in word. Theoretically we ought to try to achieve a state where they don't feel the need for such boasting. Practically it would be a most difficult task, but still one we should attempt to complete.
I don't believe love is divine. It is a chemical change in one's brain which produces an attraction to someone as part of the mechanism for reproduction. We surround it with romance because we are always reluctant to admit to the prosaic root of so much of our thought and deeds.
In my case it is a massive growth of respect and affection, as well as a sexual response which has nothing to do with reproduction. Or perhaps it is!
Awais Aftab said…
@ Alec

I would lay good odds that when they reflected in solitude or in maturity few if any of them actually believe that what they talked about would or should happen. Nor, I imagine, would they think it the exemplar of love.

Well pointed out! Thank you.
Anonymous said…
Surprising that you discovered it so late. It is a hypocrisy. The question is would the boys marry the same girls that they talked about in such a manner. Would they be able to face the sexuality of the female members of their house hold. I realise the testosterone laden talk which is a part of normal boys only gathering, but even in such gatherings, boys discuss with great respect the females they love.

It is a part of the general hypocrisy of our soceity. The same boys/men stand for Purdan and burqah.

The females of our soceity too are not without blame. Being brought up with the whole idea of finding someone, they may encourage or tolerate such behaviour. Would they have the guts to stand up for their own personality and demand an equal footing ?
Musaafir