Clingers and Pushers

Me: Do you think that if the person you love is not the top most priority in your life, then it means you don't really love them?

Aati: I think it depends on your personality more than the depth of your love, for the most part. Some people are very love-centric. For them, it is important to give all their attention to the person all the time, as demanded and even otherwise. This may be a healthy, non-disruptive part of their life but this is also the kind of person more likely to become dependent, resentful, obsessed or have a self-image/identity far too reliant on their object of affection. But at the same time a person may give a low priority to a lover, also in a healthy way, but that's the kind of person more likely to have trouble forming attachments, and so on.

Me: And love-centric are also likely to define love in the love-centric terms, and judge the companion accordingly.

Aati: Yes, that's exactly why they become resentful.

Me: So it's a small healthy zone of attachment where the two overlap?

Aati: Yes, though I wouldn't call it small. I mean, most people must have normal relationships, mustn't they? I can't imagine the majority of humanity divided into clingers and pushers :P

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