Love Advocates: A Survey

Yesterday, during a discussion with Aati on whether everyone should go for love in life, I realized that something which I felt to be obvious was not quite so obvious at all. So, I decided to do a little survey. I planned that all the participants in the survey should be Pakistani, young adults, and people who prefer or would prefer to be in a love relationship of their choice over an arranged one. This last requirement was important, because the question wouldn't even make much sense for someone who doesn't even believe in love or already prefers arranged marriage. So the purpose of the survey was a specific one: to discover how many of the Pakistani young adults who prefer love themselves would endorse that love ought to be a preference for everyone.

As I have very few friends who fulfill the selection requirement of having love as the personal preference (!), I had to ask Dure for help, who very kindly conducted the survey among her friends, and provided the bulk of participants. (Thank you!)

The question asked was: Which are these statements would you agree with?

A. Everyone should prefer a love based relationship in life over an arranged relationship (in which the couple will get to be fond of each other with time).

B. There are some people who by temperament and social upbringing are unfit to love, and would be better off having an arranged marriage.

Simple deliberation reveals that the two statements are mutually incompatible, and therefore a person can either pick A or B.

The results are:

10 participants picked option A. (58.8%)
7 participants picked option B. (41.2%)

Of course, the survey doesn't itself prove the truth of either statements. It simply reveals that what I perceived to be something quite obvious (statement B) is not a perception that is shared by many of the other advocates of love.

Aati (speaking in favor of statement A): It doesn't work that way. Loving someone and making a habit of someone are two different things. It's like asking: when you're happy with a slice of bread, why hope for chocolate cake? Chocolate cake is worth heart disease, diabetes, obesity and caries. Love is a chocolate cake. And what makes it better is the emotional palette, the chance for a bond like friendship but deeper, discovering the better side of yourself, understanding more about human nature, and making yourself vulnerable to life.... There is more room for hurt going for love, but love is not something one should be without.


Anonymous said…
I forgot about this issue entirely. Ah, the blisses of living in the West and being completely (and proudly) 'Westernized'.
SaJ said…
Nothing seems to be the absolute truth anymore. Its all relative, relative, relative.
Then again, maybe its just about how far you're prepared to go. For yourself. For others.
aneeqa_idrees87 said…
no one is unfit to love,everyone has a right to love and go for a love marriage but it should be left to his/her own discretion/decision owing to what he prefers his love over and what he can sacrifice his love for, depending on his circumstances. and no one has a right to interfere in this decision making!
Awais Aftab said…
no one has a right to interfere in this decision making!

Of course, the respect for individual liberty is without question. Every individual ought to decide what to do with his/her life.

A clarification about 'unfit to love'... as obvious from context, we are not talking about love in general. We are talking about a particular type of love, the romantic love relationship. I know personally of people who feel that they are better suited for an arranged marriage. It is in this sense that I used the word 'unfit'.