Psychedelic: Episode 3

Psychedelic
by Awais Aftab

Episode 3: The Prophet

“You have thirty minutes to solve this math test,” May Magdalin went around the class, handing out the question paper to first grade students, as they settled down in their seats.

“Kids, they are so cute,” she almost sighed as she looked at them, fumbling with the cross hanging around her neck. Little saints. She had just found out last week that she was pregnant, and was very eager at the prospect of being a mother.

“Pauline! Don’t look at Peter’s answers!” she said aloud as she spotted her craning out her neck. And then she saw Thomas behind her, staring intently at his page, hand and pencil frozen as if in mid-movement, facial expression reflecting anticipation. Sensing something odd, she walked up to him.

“Tom, are you okay?” She bended, and asked gently.

He looked up at her, an intensity in his eyes. Light came in from the window behind his head, creating a momentary simulation of a halo around him, titillating her Christian heart.

“Why aren’t you writing?”

Tom replied with prophetic assurance, as if it was the most natural thing to say, “I am waiting for the voices to tell me the answers.”

May, stunned, could only breathe out, “Jesus...”

Comments

Butters said…
I like! Especially the ending, with the ambiguous 'Jesus'.

Maybe you can compile these and publish them some day?
F. said…
You just keep finding more ways to leave me speechless. What, you don't like it when I talk? :P
karachi khatmal said…
first off, you're really talented in the art of telling stories...

the third episode is unfair - it demands many more episodes because you have placed tom at the beginning of his whole voices situation, so really you have to take it further for the sake of our curiosities. :)

i thought both your first person and third person narrations (eps 1&3) were the best, and quite distinct from one another. episode 2 reads like it was the toughest to write, and the dialogue gets a bit tricky, although its ending is really clever and paints over everything else.

i don't think i am at all qualified to give you such feedback, so feel free to dismiss this as bullshit.
Awais said…
Thank you, everyone :)

@ Butters

I hope so :)

@ KK

Thank you for the feedback. I really appreciate it! :) I do intend to take this series further. It's fun for me too writing these ;)
Awais said…
Psychedelic series is full of little, sometimes very obscure, "jokes".

For instance, did anyone notice, Pauline (which is the feminine form of Paul... Saint Paul being the obvious Christian reference) is caught cheating from Peter (St. Peter) ... 'Saint Paul is a cheat' 'Saint Paul is a girl'. I cannot help being self-amused. Lolz.
Mayhem said…
GAWD!! I LOVE THEM!! <3 <3
And yes I am VERY JEALOUS!! *scowls* lol...
razmer said…
cum on awais that was unfair

...

I had to mention that. my comment was :

The most amusinmg thing was the choice of names!

Trust your readers, man.

You have a talent dude

really enjoy reading you.
Sami Mughal said…
wow awais.. another amazing one :)
Usha said…
"I am waiting for the voices to tell me the answers".
That was an awesome one!

Cheers
Anonymous said…
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Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!
Salman Latif said…
May Magdalin is a close match with just two alphabets omitted :D

Btw well-written! The very obscurity is it's beauty ;)
Malang said…
Brilliantly done. I always find it odd how 'Jesus' is the only saviour used as a substitute for an exclamation point. One would have thought it would be Abraham, but that probably doesnt translate as well...
Rida said…
These three pieces of writing were amazing. I've been hearing about you for a while now (popping up in people's subscriptions and other places across the internet) but I think I will subscribe now myself. I haven't read something so refreshingly original and flawless in a while!