The Cocoon

I spent my life in a cocoon that i had weaved around me, divorced from the reality, and i was under the illusion that i could spend my whole life like that. I shut my parents and other people out, because i thought that the world they spoke of no longer existed, that my challenges of survival were different from theirs, more intellectual. I saw their hard work, their sacrifices with disdain, with a sense of absurdity. They didn't make any sense to me, because they were out of place in my cocoon-universe. And now, the cocoon is breaking. Reality is flowing in through the holes, its noxious air pungent to my ill-immune senses. My world is breaking down, and it scares me that the world is not what i thought it was. That all my grand ideas have made me debilitated and unsuited to function in the practical world. I can give up everything that i have ever believed in, forsake my dreams and ideals, and live on with an unending sense of defeat. Or i can persist in my vision, hoping to turns my illusions into reality, and risk ruination at the hands of a world that i had refused to acknowledge.

Comments

Abdul Sami said…
life does hav a scary way of bursting our bubbles !
"I spent my life in a cocoon that i had weaved around me, divorced from the reality" that is the brilliant of the lot!
i mean exceptionally boom post but then that line, i thought there was only one sort of divorce!
thank you o generous one!
humairahumaira said…
That does sound scary :(
Kunwal said…
i heard a nice story abt a boy who believed he could change the world.

he spent years trying to change the world. after some time, he realized that he was not able to change the world.

So he thought he ll try at least to change his country. he spent even more years trying to change the country until he gave up. He got even older by then.

So he thought if he cant change the country, he ll change his family. but he found by now he could not change his wife and children anymore.

so finally he thought he ll just change himself. but he had become such an old man that he even found difficulties with that.

And he realized that to have more success. he should have tried from the other end. first he should have changed himself while he had the strength and stamina. then his immediate circle and then go on from there.

even if you do not succeed until the end (changing the world), you have a higher chance of succeeding partly at least.
desiskeptic said…
We should all strive to understand and look at the world as it really is, and deal with it that way, but that doesn't mean we should stop striving for it to be the way we want it to be, or give into it and start to despair. Hope you start feeling better.
karachi khatmal said…
i think kunwal encapsulates what we all need to internalize...

but on a personal note, it is so strange to one day realise that you are no someone who won't grow taller any more, who shouldn't be blissfully unaware of the chores your parents run on Sunday mornings, who should know how to fix the generator and which plumber is reliable...

suddenly, you realise that all those bouts of sarcastic cynicism you heaped upon the world as a student now weigh heavy because you are the force that can change all those things you felt so strongly and yet so helpless about in the past.

don't let it paralyze you, but i have a feeling it won't... :)
Awais said…
Thank you guys, particularly Kunwal and Karachi Khatmal, that was helpful :)
Salman Latif said…
Btw congrats!! Embracing the reality is the first step to intellect. And of course the Socartes punch-line 'knowledge of our ignorance' is our actual knowledge.
The best play, though, it to tread the fine balance between idealism and pragmatism.