The Pursuit of Meaning

X: All of your rebellions and heresies and deviations and obsessions can be traced back to a single thing: the pursuit of meaning. It seems as if 'meaning' is some sort of a sensation to you; like an addict seeks 'being high' and tries all sorts of drugs for it, you seek the sensation of your life being 'meaningful', whatever that means, and you are willing to try breaking all sorts of social and moral rules for that. Why you can't find the things which other people find meaningful is something that shall perhaps remain an enigma to me.