This Eid i pretended something for a while... pretended to be normal just like everyone else: A normal person with normal tastes, with normal ideas, with normal conversations, with normal regard for social conventions... and i felt accepted, happy; for a time i was able to overcome my detest and irritation for the things around me, and i felt happy. Artificial Happiness. It made me wonder about my whole previous 'real' life, and my Real Misery.

Sorry, if you are looking for any wise conclusions, you wouldn't find any this time. I don't know what all this means.

Its surprising though, how people around you can live around you for so long and yet have no idea what is actually going on in your head.


Kunwal said…
Awais, your choice is not between artificial happiness and real misery, your choice is between happiness and misery. happiness is a state of mind. you just have to accept that you are different and accept that people are different (truly, in your heart). there is no need to create an internal tension or struggle.
Anonymous said…
for some reason its not what it used to be... may be we've outgrown it - or what, but i would be lying if i said i really feel like celebrating it... i just like it for the 3 holidays it brings us honestly.

sorry if this is a little blunt, but its the truth.
A said…
That's interesting..and a lot more candid than most of your posts you know.
Hmm, if I am given a choice between 'Aritificial Happiness' and 'Real Misery', I would not even consider the latter.
Anonymous said…
and the truth is that probably you have little idea about whats going in their heads as well. Its easy to see things from one's own perspective but if you jump out of the system you realize that there is no centrifugal force [ur untrue impression of the what u assume to be real] but its just the reality as it is.
I agree with Kunwal, everyone's different and the normal thing would be to accept this fact and be happy.
Kishore said…
That was comfortingly personal..
Poor poor you!

Don't you worry, you ain't alone..
Qasim Aziz said…
Artificial happiness is the worst form of misery.
A said…
@ above:
Although, to lesser philosophically mature minds it would seem that running after ideologies while sacrificing Happiness, in any form, is a slightly deluded idea.
Oh well.
Qasim Aziz said…
what if one finds happiness in running after idealogies?
What if one starts enjoying his own misery?

I have always believed that we humans do enjoy our own misery(consciously or unconsciously).

Not being happy is bad,but to put one self in a state of denial is even worse.