I Hate Wedding Ceremonies!

Why do i hate wedding ceremonies so much? (Pakistani wedding ceremonies, specifically.)

Because they are a nauseating display of the hypocrisies and superficialities of our society; because they are a finerly orchestrated drama of money and social politics; because they are a means to show-off how much wealth one has; because the ceremony is more about the family and relatives of the couple than about the bride and the groom; because everyone pretends to be happy; because people are more concerned about making the video of the function than about the wedding itself; because the aunties are always on a rishta-hunt; because people compete for food more ferociously than even predicted by Darwinian selective forces; because it is a flagrant waste of money and resources on an event which is supposed to be simple and beautiful but has been mutated into a hideous social monster.

And because the bride almost always looks ugly!! God, why do they even need to plaster their faces with such thick layers of make-up? I can't imagine why on earth brides spend thousands of Rupees in beauty saloons for bridal make-up only to look so ugly!

Comments

robertryu said…
I totally agree with u awais on this issue.no one knows real meaning of emotions now.all r running after these worldly things.simplicity and reality is extinct now.
misspecs said…
The question is, what are YOU going to do about it? :)

Its great that Pakistani guys are also aware of these issues.

Great post.
Kunwal said…
Well you know, I also liked my Mehndi look better than the wedding one (except my arms on the wedding day, i loved that).
But the thing is, you have to clearly stick out as a bride. In western weddings no one but the bride wears the color white. In our wedding there is no such rule that no one except the bride can wear red. So the bride has to stick out in a different way.
And if a bride wears less make up than the female guests, then you can be sure that for the rest of her life whenever ppl talk abt the wedding will mention that she did not look like a bride.
And do not forget, the Pakistani society is a more extravagant one spiced with drama in every aspect of life. But that can also have positive sides. How boring would the world be if everything was mild and mediocre like in German-speaking countries e.g.
If you live in a dull society for many years, you will start missing the occasional drama :).
Kunwal said…
oh yes @hypocrisies and display of wealth etc., that you will also find as much in other cultures. That s in human nature.
Noon said…
oh yes @hypocrisies and display of wealth etc., that you will also find as much in other cultures. That s in human nature.

Thats the issue, girls want that!!. If you look further you will see it's women who will critisize most if some body does try to marry without any glamour/shashka
Hamza said…
I couldn’t agree with you more. Rs.1,00,000 or more for a dress she is going to wear only once in her life is insanity. These days they are actually displaying the dresses and jewelry during the ceremony. More like an episode of Flog It.
Kunwal said…
Hypocrisy is if you present yourself with different faces (to keep it simple). Hypocrisy is as clearly visible on weddings as it is on any other social event or ceremony and it is common among men and women.

Also the display of wealth is common among both sexes, it just manifests itself in different ways (with women you see it on weddings).

for me (i m a girl btw and i married recently) memories are very precious. always have been throughout my life. until today i like to see things from my kindergarten, primary school, etc and relive those memories. it is like my personal treasure. so i think it is beautiful to have wonderful photos of that event even if the pictures are staged ('photo session', 'looking pretty', etc). i think that is a very female kind of thinking. but i dont think there is anything wrong with it. it s just different.

last but not least i want to say that unfortunately women do have a tendency to see things out of proportion. and sometimes it becomes like a competition.

but anyway, my point was that this is nothing specifically pak. you ll find it anywhere just in different flavors. we humans are not perfect. and there s no reason to hate. there are more important things in life.
Nouman said…
@ kunwal

i agree with you!
Awais said…
Kunwal has raised some very valid points, and i won't disagree.

My personal dislike of something doesn't have to be applicable universally; people can dislike something while recognizing the rights of other individuals to approve of it. And that i do.

But i think that the society has to be more open and tolerant about the people who do dislike such drama and extravagance. Marriages which do not have these components become a source of humiliation for the family; poor people who have barely enough to eat take significant loans so that they can have a proper wedding to avoid being humiliated. It is this particular point which is wrong. Society should be more accepting to the individual likes and dislikes, and their majboories.

@ misspecs

I am thinking of boycotting my own wedding in protest when the time comes ;)
Uni said…
Well someone commented here : The question is , what would YOU do about it.

And thats exactly what it's all about.

When my sis got married, we could have gotten her booked into one of the "in" beauty parlours of all times, the in-laws could have gotten her a 100,000 dress etc..

But we chose to ignore the general outcry..and Alhamdulillah, the wedding was an extremely simple one (only kulfi:D) and sis had gotten dressed up at home..

Woh alag baat hay keh knowing us and our family, even cousins hadn't dressed up much so nobody really looked more over dressed than the bride herself *broad grin* ..

That was a nice read.. Hope there are more of yous in Pakistan in this regard..:D
salman said…
Well...valid for most such ceremonies.
And if you gota go against it, depends how much of the pressure you can take - which's too much to take at times.