Answers

And so, another birthday has gone by. In many ways, this was the best one i have ever had in my life, because i have never felt so loved before. With each passing year, one begins to wonder: what is this life all about? And i have troubled by this question long enough, but the previous year of my life has shown me a lot of things, of what matters to me, and what i really want and need in my life. For a long time, i believed like Maslow that self-actualization was at the top of the 'hierarchy of needs', but now, it seems to me there is nothing like 'love and belonging', and if there is anything that is worth living for, it is that.

Abraham Maslow's 'hierarchy of needs'

What i felt today, it was said by one of the characters in One Tree Hill:

'I know you’re searching for things, Lucas. And I hope with all my heart that you find the answers to your questions. But the answers that you’re looking for are closer than you think. They’re in your heart. And in the hearts of those who love you.'

The answers were indeed closer than i had thought.

My gratitude to all the people who made this day so beautiful and special for me.

Comments

Kunwal said…
happy birthday again!

and maslow s pyramid was anyway made for only one specific culture. it does not have general validity.
Anonymous said…
Happy birthday (yes,it's late,but it didn't seem appropriate to start otherwise.)

The pyramid is somewhat overrated,in my opinion,even if you look at it in the context of the culture it was made for--or in the context of a broader human culture,if such a thing can exist.(I like to think it can.Collectivist,I suppose.:/)

That said,congratulations on finding answers.Were they exactly the ones you were searching for,Mr.Aftab? /:)
Awais said…
@ anonymous

I don't really know what i was searching for. :) I guess i was looking for success and happiness; about success, i had come to agree with Christopher Morley 'There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way.' But what if this success, your insistance to live the way u want, alienates all the people around you, leaving you secluded and alone? Would one be happy in this situation? And if one is unhappy, can it be called success? I am now certain, whatever way i want to live, i don't want to live alone. And if love, friends and family are not a part of what i want for myself, then it is sort of success that i would rather not have. But then, i don't just believe in duty and obligations, something which people many believe love to be. I do believe in commitment and compromise but if it is driven by genuine understanding, attachment, affection and passion. Too idealistic, i guess. But i have a shot at achieving in what i believe, and maybe i am wrong, but i am not going to give up without a try.

And well, life plays its tricks... nothing is really conclusive; who knows, i might have my moments of disillusionment in years to come?

Do also read 'My Absurd Years' for some more insight into how i think:
http://awaisaftab.blogspot.com/2008/03/my-absurd-years.html

Thanks for the belated birthday wish. :)
Anonymous said…
@Mr.Aftab
“And if love, friends and family are not a part of what i want for myself, then it is sort of success that i would rather not have.” By your/Morley’s definition, this won’t be success at all,instead of just the wrong sort of success.
Somehow I get the feeling you feel that on some level even what you wish was entirely yours will have to adjusted for the sake of others and that you have no choice about the matter--you seek control,fearing you won't find it.
Anonymous said…
[cont'd]
Perhaps you seek it precisely because you fear you won't find it.
A lover whose eyes search in a crowd for a beloved whom they fear never finding;searching quietly,desperately,till it becomes a madness unto itself.
Love.I wonder if this is one reason why our philosopher finds it so indispensable?(Haha.)
Of course,I don't know you Mr.Aftab.I may be so far off,you might not even find it funny.I'm willing to take that risk anyway.
Anonymous said…
And I will tell you this:
too idealistic? Not by a long shot.

And who knows?

*smiles goodbye*

Happy belated Independence Day.
We made it another year.
Awais said…
By your/Morley’s definition, this won’t be success at all,instead of just the wrong sort of success.

Yes, true. But i had written

'...about success, i had come to agree with Christopher Morley...'

Past perfect tense. I was implying through the use of Socratic reasoning the deficiency of Morley's definition regarding love and belonging, and happiness.
Awais said…
Interesting analysis. Accurate too, if it had been made last year :) A lot has changed. Sometimes one learns to value commitment only after one has broken it. *sad smile*

A lover whose eyes search in a crowd for a beloved whom they fear never finding;searching quietly,desperately,till it becomes a madness unto itself.

The beauty of your language and description is breath-taking and impressive. :)
Anonymous said…
"But i had written

'...about success, i had come to agree with Christopher Morley...'

Past perfect tense."

Touche,Mr. Aftab. :)
Anonymous said…
I overlooked that detail,I'll admit.
[On a side note:If I our eyes are inclined to see only what they wish to see,how does that bode for our quest,I wonder?/:)]

Late by a year,eh?I'll take that.

"deficiency of Morley's definition":I do not believe it to be particularly deficient;perhaps that's because I have yet to be disillusioned?Or perhaps because the definition of happiness varies,and my own never truly included acceptance by "all people"?

Sometimes one learns to value commitment only after one has broken it. *sad smile*
...