In Love?

"Women often believe they are in love when in reality they are not. The business of an intrigue, the emotions inspired by gallantry, the natural inclination for the pleasure of being loved, and the difficulty of refusal -- all these persuade women that they feel real passion, when in fact it is nothing but coquetry."

La Rochefoucauld, Maxim 277

I wonder how much of it is really so. I think one of the factors which we must consider in this regard that women don't usually initiate courtship (at least, in the society in which i live.) Mostly it is the boy who makes the first move; the girl has the option of either accepting it or rejecting it. How much validity can there be in a love which is initiated by the opposite side? I don't deny the existence of sincere emotions in such scenario, but in how many cases would it be sincere?

Comments

I tend to disagree again. Its always both sided... it cant be one sided. A woman would not make a commitment
unless she is really interested. Its not about being loved, its about loving.
Have you ever met a woman who loved someone but was never loved?
Awais said…
A woman would not make a commitment
unless she is really interested.


I have observed plenty of cases otherwise. Perhaps in US, where you live, this might not be applicable. But the society in which i live, "love" is a secondary or tertiary consideration for a woman... family considerations, financial matters, and so many other things take priority.
Anonymous said…
I agree women dont make the first move because they give more importance to commitment as compared to men.
Awais said…
You are right about the commitment thing... though i am unable to appreciate the link between commitment and initiating a relationship.

And, by the way, according to Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love, pure commitment is "empty love"... because it lacks the elements of intimacy and passion.
Rohini Singh said…
I don't understand how people talk about 'love' so casually. It is the basis of our very existence, with life not being worth living without it.

Love is unconditional. It is selfless. It begins at home. If you are raised in such an environment, with family members only expecting love and nothing else in return (unselfishness) then you will surely have your priorities right.

"love" is a secondary or tertiary consideration for a woman... family considerations, financial matters, and so many other things take priority.


The things that you mention above, can be true for any man or woman who has never been loved. I've personally seen such people find very little happiness in life.

So I don't agree with anything La Roche says in that little para, he obviously does not know much about life.
bloglet said…
In my culture women do not make advances because it threatens men's need to feel in control, and I have a problem with it along the lines of what you've just said.
Under these rules a man always has the opportunity to approach any woman, but a woman only has the option of accepting or rejecting those men who approach her, so of course she must be thinking "what if no one better approaches me?"
But in my culture there's little connection between love and "initiating courtship".
F. said…
Love, my darling, love stands alone!